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asdfadsfDave Bad DoctorObtained from Kids in the H on the whole FAQDave Wanna recognise something? Im a bad doctor. Im not boasting. I mean, who would? Just stating a fact that Ive never unfeignedly gotten the hang of the whole healing-the- purify thing. And dont interpret this as some configuration of false modesty, please its not, its not like Im watery in some areas. No, Im homogeneously unqualified to practice medicine in any capacity. I *really* dont have a clue. And no virtuoso could be more shocked than me that Ive been allowed to rise to a position of such(prenominal) importance and responsibility. I guess it all started in high schooling where I was a very bad science student. One twenty-four hour period when we were supposed to be dissecting a frog, I accidentally disassembled my desk. Oh, but, you know, I was a popular kid. You know, the other students were always eager to help me out. So you know, during a test whenever Id get that *confused* look on my face - which was invariably - well, the cheat notes would just start flying Even the teachers would start utter answers, you know, *ahem* mitochondria... But I didnt worry about it. I figured, how far could you microscope slide on charm? Well, pretty far, actually They just offered me the job of caput of Surgery. Apparently, Ive logged more hours in surgery than any other man my age. quadruple thousand hours this year alone. What no one seems to have noticed that it was all with the same patient. Oh I wanna show. Oh, I want to show you something. You know what this is? Urine. Another mans urine, aonther mans urine. I ask for it, and they give it to me I dont know what to do with it Ive got a fridge full of this stuff. I mean, I suppose I could commit it out to the lab, but theyd entirely rank back a lot of test results that I couldnt possibly understand. The only thing Im actually sorta good at is referrals. You know that thing where doctors send patients to other doctors. Well, Im the king of referrals. What I do is I call the, uh, the sick person into my office, and I stare for a long time really seriously at this blank sheet of paper.